A couple of days back i was staying over at my uncle's place and i chanced upon a copy of the TIME magazine, this was the annual edition featuring the hundred most influential people on earth. It featured one Indian, A R Rahman.No wonder the magazine isn't too popular in India!
As i flipped through the pages i saw an article on Rafael Nadal, which was written by Serena Williams, being an avid tennis fan i decided to read and find out about what makes Rafa tick.Serena says that Rafa is one of the most hardworking individuals in the tennis circuit.He's the first to arrive for practice and the last to leave,the student who sleeps last and rises up early,relentless in his pursuit of greatness!
The line about "rising early and sleeping late" struck a chord with me.I realized that if i am to do something useful in life i must adopt the same mindset and discipline. Show the same determination and passion in everything that i do.So
That night,
I slept very early,
And woke up real late!
:)
Thats me in a nutshell!
Every star wars fan has a pet moment, a scene from the movie which sets his imagination rolling, fires up those goosebumps and forces you to roll up a newspaper and pretend that your a Jedi.
Whosh...buzz...whosh...buzz...dude i am your father......nooooo......really?.....:)
But for me, my defining moment came when i was watching 'Clone Wars' , a cartoon adaptation of the famous movie series. Two of the episodes had me perched at the edge of my seat, salivating with disbelief, fully engrossed by the unbelievable action and style shown by the protagonist. So sit back and enjoy.
Let me give a brief synopsis for those unaccustomed with the Jedi way.
The episode begins as with all Star wars episodes in a galaxy far far away, in a distant planet, the clones led by the iconic Master Mace Windu(second only to Master Yoda in stature and authority) are in battle against the rebel army consisting of droids in all sizes and shapes.Master Windu and the white-armored clones are able to hold the droids off, but that's when a monstrous terrain changing super machine enters the battle field.
Watch!
Oh no! Our hero has lost his all powerful light saber, leaving him defenceless,moreover he's surrounded by enemy droids, with a thousand laser guns pointed right at his throat! Is it all over for the great Jedi? Has the force left him for good? But his face betrays no emotion, does he know something that we don't? What could he possibly do?
Watch!
Wasn't that brilliant? :)
All he did was look left, look right and then sent a massive force blast to remove the enemy droids! After that the carnage begins! He beats the nuts and bolts out of the droids with his bare hands, uses the force to send a few of them to metallic kingdom come.
The best part was when he simply disseminated one of the bots with the force and then nonchalantly uses the debris to destroy a few more bots! What style! What panache! Woe to you James Bond, you cannot do any of these but even then these adjectives are ascribed to you!:D
And when he finally locates his light saber! My God Almighty! There is no stopping him! He wields it with indifference, body still, eyes fixed, but the light saber dances with unrelenting speed!
And the rest is fictional history! He brings down the towering machine with calculated precision. One man bringing down an army has always been a sight to watch, Neo vs the army of Smiths, Superman, Goku,Rajnikanth? Maybe not! But Mace Windu will fill fit in easily in this hall of glory.
Like all great heroes he doesn't hesitate to smile and accept a drink of water from the enviable boy, i bet he tried hard all his life to become a Jedi!:D
My adrenaline is pumping, must take a walk to cool off! heh!
P.S I may have sounded like a teenaged girl describing her encounter with a movie star, but what the heck! i'm more or less a teenager, bit of a girl, and Mace Windu is more than a movie star for me!
"Why can't you be more like Jesus huh?"
"What??"
"You want me to get myself crucified? Aint happening!"
"Not that, why cant you act more like him?"
"Oh, you mean....turn water into wine? But i don't have a liquor license! Shucks!"
"Dont use the Lord's name in vain, that's written somewhere"
"Yeah? i thought it was 'Dont use the lord's name in Spain' all this while"
"Your hopeless! show some compassion like jesus did"
"Fashion? but the 30 A.D clothes look like nighties"
"No Idiot! Compassion, love, caring understanding, empathy"
"But i need a bunch of disciples, Pete where you?"
"You don't need disciples to change yourself"
"what i need is a virgin birth! But i'll make do with a virgin mobile instead, think hatke"
"Its a lost cause! Behave like jesus is what i meant!"
"Your right, think i'll go and raise the dead, care to volunteer your brain for my experiment?"
"Now Jesus would never say that!"
"Okay, 'Behold give me thine brain so i can fry and make fritters and then raise it to life"
"Sigh!"
"Tee hee! Oh i get it, i need to talk like Jesus"
"Finally! Things do go past your thick skull!"
"Yeah...Lets see....im gonna talk like Jesus from now"
"Its about time!!"
"Begone Satan!"
"What?"
"Be ye removed from my friend oh fallen one"
"Why do i even try?"
"Now whats the problem? Nothing i do ever suffices!"
"If you do it all wrong it won't"
"Maybe i should fast and pray for 40 days and 40 nights"
"Why dont you make that 90 days and 90 nights? Free trip to heaven if you do!"
"Really? fasting and praying? Is that fast praying?
"No numbskull, it means you don't eat food and concentrate on praying"
"Its a nice bargain, if at the end of it i can multiply fish and bread! I'll be a food billionaire"
"I wonder why God doesnt strike you dead"
"Because Jesus is loving and compassionate! Listen to what you preach sometimes"
"I think i just lost my capacity to think after talking to you"
"Dont worry i'll try and heal you"
"No thanks"
"Unbelief"
"Maybe im jewish! I'm starting to hate you!"
"whoa whoa....dont you go killing me, i'm still not so sure about ressurrection, havent tried that yet"
"A lot you havent tried, all im asking is for some non-violence from you"
"Now you want me to be like Gandhi? Boy you have issues"
"Argh!! Bye idiot"
"okay! Jeez! Go in peace! "
P.S Jesus if you reading this and feeling offended or something, then you could abuse me in the comments section, i'm just so desperate for comments you know, if its not too much trouble could you get the 12 disciples and your 10 million angels to comment too? Thanks
Engineering is behind me! The results of the last exam have come, the university has given us a nice parting gift in the form of liberal evaluations.They must believe in "last impression is the best impression"!:) All i'd say is we're not going to forget the needless revaluations, some of the shocking question papers or any of the schemes to empty our pockets(the last one was the forceful purchase of a lousy 25paise worth sticker for Rs15)!
At this point in time, most would be heaving a sigh of relief, some would be partying, others are worried about landing a job, but as for me, there is just one thought in my head, the thought which defines my engineering journey, what i learnt most, what is my greatest take-home in these 4 years.
Its the fact that god rescued me 8 times over the past 4 years.This is probably one of the greatest engineering cliches, but there was not one semester in which i could safely say that i'd clear all the subjects.There was always one irritant, one spoiler, one paper that left me a little shaken after three long hours.
<< rewind
1st Sem: This was the only semester where i was committed to study hard and prove something.What it is that I wanted to prove,I no longer remember! But inspite of all my efforts, Basic Electronics( the toughest subject in the 1st year) proved to be my Achilles' heel. The main exam was a shocker, i had never been so clueless during a public exam, but thankfully the rest of the population fared in the same manner. The days before the results were times spent being restless.Failing was not unexpected.But when the results came i got 42! A good 7 marks past the magical figure of 35(our passing mark)! God had rescued me, a tiny seed of faith had been sown.
2nd Sem:This was supposed to be an easier semester, a good chance to score well. But unfortunately my mother had to go and take care of her ailing mum during the study holidays, so hmmmmm....lets just say that the television watching hours in my house rose significantly during that time period, the football world cup played no small part in that statistic! The result: I did very badly in the Physics exam, i finished the paper a good half hour early! i just had a couple of hours worth of content to write,it was that bad! Results were again something i didnt look forward to! When the it arrived i had scored exactly 35!God saved me from disgrace again!The tiny seed had grown, it had sprouted a tiny stalk, it was feeble but promising.
3rd Sem:This semester was made for me,subjects i liked,2 math subjects and 2 programming subjects helped me in no small fashion, but there was a pain in the arse, Electronic Circuits, a subject that would made greek and latin comprehensible. i cleared the subject with a face saving 39, but what disappointed me was my poor showing in some of my strong subjects! Had God failed me? But the small measure of faith i gathered over a year rose up within me. I gave a couple of subjects for revaluation and got 24 more marks. God showed up after all. The tiny seed was a handsome sapling.
4th Sem: Here the villain was FAFL(finite automata and something something!;)) This was more of a problem based subject, if you get it right you get all the marks, you get it wrong its a big zero! Unfortunately the exam went very bad, not only was i not able to complete the paper, but i had got most of it wrong!:( . The other subjects were no balancing acts either. The sapling had to go through a storm of sorts, either it would be uprooted or the roots would grow longer and deeper to anchor itself. The sapling survived, God not only saved me from drowning this time, he also gave me a tank full of oxygen, enough to rejuvenate me! I got 47 in FAFL!
5th sem: The semester, we had to pass all or remain unplaced(without a job). The exams went bad. I was anxious to get through the first company(SATYAM COMPUTERS) that came to campus, because they would consider marks upto the 4th semester only. Not getting through that company added to the casual worries. But come results my now strong tree of faith stood strong, it wouldnt be felled easily. I got decent marks. I managed to land a job in the next two companies that visited the campus.God was by my side, he didnt abandon me in my time of need.
6th Sem: Needless to say, the security of a job and general dung-headedness landed me in a soup again, almost all the papers were written badly.But my worst showing ever did not result in sleepless nights or nervous breakdowns, the consequences, the ramifications of failure hardly bothered me. My trust and sight were no longer on getting a degree, life had more.This time i got a no good second class. But i passed where others flunked. I was still afloat. The strong branches of the once small seed held my weight, it wouldnt break away and make me fall.
7th Sem:This semester too the exams were unsatisfactory, my peers had a look of satisfaction after every exam, something i couldn't adorn myself. All i had was the shade from my leafy tree shielding me from the harsh sun. The results were nothing short of a miracle. I got an FCD(First Class With Distinction)! The tree was starting to bear fruit, nothing to truely savor or proclaim, but it was something. God was truely with me.
8th Sem: I reconnected with one of my first loves, programming, the project pushed me to look further, stay up longer, think harder, develop patience, meet deadlines and handle cranky clients. But the hyper dedication to the project came at a price, i realised that coding before a theory exam was not a wise thing to do. As a result i performed worse than any paper ever!! I finished it in 2 hours flat, the whole while glancing at my friend's(the ZED) paper, wondering how he was faring. But the below the poverty line performance hardly bothered me, in fact i found myself scolding, admonishing myself if my thoughts ever veered toward the negative. My tree was talking to me. It was no longer a seed, but a life bearing instrument.
And what do you know!! I get a whopping 49 in the end, i hadn't even written 49 marks worth of answers.
God rescued me not once, not twice, but 8 times! As i enter life, with challenges waiting to be met, I am not scared or fearful, I am not anxious, I dont fear failure, I am not afraid to take risks, because I am the tree! I have grown deep roots, I have faced the storms and stood still, I am poised to bear fruit in the right season. In the future i would sustain others with my fruit. Till then I am just thankful for being saved not once,not twice,not even thrice, but eight times!
P.S You'd probably think that every engineering student has to go through this, but hey! this is my story! I firmly believe my efforts were grossly disproportional to my marks! Unverifiable but true.
P.P.S The psalmist says,"Praise the Lord, I tell myself, and never forget the good things he does for me." Remembering what God has done for you is one of the most powerful weapons you have in life. Although this blog is read by a minority, i know that i will certainly come back, read and remember what the lord has done for me!
(i wrote this during november of last year, never got around to posting it, true incident)
My mother and I were walking out of the local Christian book store, with a brand new bible under one of my arms and a few other books in the other, I was feeling particularly self-righteous and holy!
That’s when a little boy with neatly combed hair, and nicely ironed shirt appeared on the scene. With a smile that could melt an icy heart he said
“Hello Aunty,…..Hello uncle”
“Uncle?” I immediately took offence for being called an uncle and greeted him with a frown!
The bright smile never leaving his countenance he went on to hand us a pamphlet that contained the gospel of mark. As we browsed through the pamphlet he ventured to make a request.
The clouds of suspicion gathered in my mind, AHA! He’s going to ask for some money…..Why that sweet talking rascal!
But his request was noble, pure and sincere!
“Can I pray for you aunty?” My mother nodded in agreement. “Is it okay if I pray in Tamil aunty?”
My tamil knowledge consists of a few words like “Baba” “Pasha” “Chandramukhi” and “Kuselan”. Nothing to write home about! But I listened none the less!
Although I did not understand a word, the forthright tone, the honest demeanor and calm aura of the boy overwhelmed me!
But the remenants of suspicion lingered, My cautious half suspected a plea for donation at any moment
My mother asked him about his family and his education…To which he replied…..
“I live with my grandmother aunty and I study at St anthony’s”
As we separated with an awkward unsaid farewell, we were again stopped in our track by that earnest voice.
“Aunty one more thing……..”
The skeptic residing in the anals of my mind, rose again, ready to crucify the boy for all the false pretense the whole while. It was all about the money! Caught him atlast! HA!
But the boy’s request was far different from what I expected,
“Aunty please pray for me too………..”
Having said that he just walked into the darkness, and we nevers saw him again,with my skepticism silenced, my pride and logic humbled,we assured him that we would pray for him.
On my way home, I was bombarded with still many more offers for exchange, But my mind was fixated on the exchange I had promised to carry through, An exchange that involved no bargain, or statement of warranty or any sort of trickery, An Exchange that perhaps enriched my soul………..
I went home and prayed for the boy who sought a divine exchange!
Well i strongly disagree with all those who say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, because clearly the two are not even from the same galaxy! Its pretty evident that we don’t speak the same language, men talk, women feel, when the man wants to feel, the woman just wants to sleep!;D
With Valentine’s day approaching, there seems to be a temporary truce of sorts, but its like a calm before the storms to come. So while the rest of humanity pondered about the economy and world peace, i decided to find a solution to the war of the sexes!
Well , wikipedia wasn’t too helpful,hindi teleserials... had too many shocking camera zooming moments to really understand anything, femina though interesting was too biased, times of india filled the relationship space with English footballer WAGs. Well after many such failed attempts i decided to look, where i should have looked in the first place! THE BIBLE! And i did find a profound answer! Here it is!
However, let each man of you love his wife as his very own self, and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband. Ephesians 5:33
I have read past this statement a hundred times, too simplistic isn’t it? Thats what i thought too, till a preacher pointed out a key facet to this verse that if followed could bring an end to the war in the household!
What is truly amazing is that man is not asked to revere his wife nor is the woman asked to love her husband, somehow our mind goes into auto-correct and misses this significant point, we just assume that it is vice-versa. But no!
Well the reason is women love their husbands anyway, they show it many different ways, they make his favorite food, they notice the little slump in his shoulders, they tell him that they care,they understand and provide a ready ear for his problems, they are sympathetic to his hopes and dreams, they are a balm to his aching bones at the end of a hard day. Women are the epitome of love shown in gestures.
But,
Men dont know this and seldom reciprocate in kind! The imbecile believes that the first time he said “I love you” should last him a lifetime! He actually thinks that women sense whats in his heart and he does not need to voice them. He is also convinced that his physical presence in times of turmoil amounts to caring.
So the bible urges the neanderthal cave men to express their love, show that they care, love his wife!
Female society works on loving, caring and verbally affirming their thoughts, men hardly function on these lines, male society centers on the magic mantra of Respect! In this world your worth is measured by how much your respected. Respect can be earned by a variety of means, the fastest, strongest,biggest, smartest, richest and all the other ‘ests’ win lots of respect, but so will the guy who can gulp down a bottle of liquor in a minute, or the person who can stand up to his boss, men tend to be extra competitive, everything is a race! Women dismiss this as childish ego clashes, but for men, its a way of being!
Men give each other respect, they are natural at identifying and providing for those who deserve this respect! Why is it that the geeky professor who commands the respect of all his peers fails in the dating game? Because women dont respect some guy who has spent years learning the intimate regions of a mainframe than the intricate complexities of a relationship!
What a man wants is this respect, and if a woman wants to make him happy and content, she must give him this respect, identify and appreciate the things he is able to provide, tell him how much better he is at mowing the garden compared to the much better looking neighbour. Tell him that he did a great job fixing the t’v, who cares if he made your colour t’v into a black and white one! Tell him your with him because he’s better than the other men, that will be his moment of glory!
In a nutshell, give them what they want! Women want love, give it to them, men want some respect, give him some! Because we’re wired in such a way that women will always show love toward their husbands and men will always respect his wife, those skills are innate, its the skills that we acquire that will help us in understanding the other kind!
Well most of us are not going to be wise men who's words will be revered through the ages. But even then we try our best to find some immortal analogy or observation that will travel with the times. Very occasionally one might find a gem, but the rest of the time S.H.I.T is created. By S.H.I.T i mean a Simpleton's Hardly Inspiring Thought.
I had one such S.H.I.Ty moment today. I was travelling on my bike as usual, lost in thought, trying my best to avoid the shit(real) on the road. But thats when i was hit with a S.H.I.T, the S.H.I.T just came flying out of nowhere.
The S.H.I.T that consumed me was, “why do they say that traffic flows?” . What led me to this sudden loosely composed S.H.I.T was that, at a bottle-neck traffic seems to stall and slow down, whereas in a real river the water seems to speed up when it encounters a narrow bottle-neck. Hence traffic is certainly not fluid like in nature and therefore does not flow.AHA! i hope the reader understands the depth of my S.H.I.T.
So traffic does not flow, it simply travels. Which makes sense cause everyone involved in a traffic jam is indeed traveling. But this leads us to another great question,what about a waterway? A place like Venice where there are more boats than cars? Doesn't the traffic flow there? Well the answer is, no, because a vehicle without a horn cannot create the deafening irritating noise that is characteristic of a traffic jam. Since most boats don't have a horn, they cannot create traffic.
I have been saving this S.H.I.T in me all day, so that i can blog about it. I have finally managed to share my S.H.I.T with the whole world. Blogging is what makes it possible. So till i have more S.H.I.T to distribute, ADIOS!
When a challenger arrives on the scene, the established forces scramble to gather resources and squish the challenger with a flurry of arrows.
One of two things will happen at this point, the establishment will either tread on the challenger and extinguish his tender advancements .
Or,
The challenger takes the doyens by surprise and proves to be more than capable of taking over their space.
Such a scenario unfolded recently in the unlikely arena of rhyming, with her flurry of well worded arrows Miss Infinity tried to snuff out the poetic ember glowing inside me.Not to be outdone, i unleashed my own set of unguided missiles. Does the fearless challenger kneel to the gargantuan poetic behemoth that is Miss Infinity or does he stand his own ground? Decide for yourselves!
Alien to d poetic world u still are
from true poetic blessings u still r far
till then u can use many a lame line
n think ur a poetic einstein
To the poetic world i may be new
but in the literary circle i'm one of the few
This planet also i will surely take over
i will make sure your reign ends forever
U think u can bid me farewell from my own haven?
where my words have been engraven!
so wrongly u have spoken
a flood of rage you have awoken
You are a ruler who has held on too long
Your so old you can't hear the gong
that heralds my arrival
pray for your survival!
You can take a year or a decade
ur words in no time will surely fade
but when i rise to heights unreachable
u can try to spot me with the telescope hubble!
Rhyming is a left hand job
Spotlight from you, i will rob
A year from today i swear to hell
without a sigh i will bid you farewell
Ur ignorance but does make me laugh aloud
d way u'v landed on d 9th cloud
but I'll let u enjoy ur glory a bit
coz wen it comes to poetic competition i dont give a shit
Hear ye, hear ye, there is a new bard in town
Here from far to replace the clown
A poem a day he promises to deliver
Come and cry a mighty river!
Hear ye hear ye d new bard in town
is here to make d real poets drown
in a river which he thinks they might cry
little does he know what he's gonna try
is a task so impossible to do
amidst poetic goddesses who
can rhyme like a sea flows its course
and throw off amateurs off its shores
The successor has matched the incumbent
In her armor he has made a dent
With every reply that he gave
he pushed her deeper into her grave!
Grave u are diggin of your own young man
u can try as hard as you can
u cant write words as powerful as mine
it takes talent to rhyme lines so fine
The cricket match distracts me
Else i would have stung you like a bee
Go hide under a rock
or else i will continue to mock!
Fine lets continue later wid d Crap
for ur work so far u deserve a clap
i dint think u wud survive so long
against a competitor whose so strong
With that declaration of approval
Ms Infinity rang the bell
to herald the birth of star
who will croon in many a bar!
The book of Re-Genisis
1And on the 24,566,343,343,545th day of the creation, God said "Let my smile be etched upon the night sky, so that man might know of my pleasure toward him". 2And so the moon, and the planets combined to create a spectacle that would remind mankind that god was indeed smiling upon them,with a winking eye and a crooked smile! ;)
Bengaluru nightsky was blessed with this pleasant sight on dec 1st 2008, Jupiter, venus and the moon met for a sky party and there were smiles all around!
As I walked down a by-lane
Witness was I, to a terrible sight
There she was, howling in pain
Caught by the neck, but still in the fight
She moved to the left, she jumped to the right
But, caught she was, in the dog catcher's snare
I stopped to watch, and pity her plight
To plead her case, I did not dare
She slipped, she fell, into the gutter,
Not able to watch, I walked away
I heard cries in the distance, from her abandoned litter
The puppies yelped, for their mother to stay
The tears didn't flow, the sadness remained
The cruelty all around, had hardened my life
Taken to a far place, to be maimed,
Or beaten, or killed, or put under a knife.
All through the week, I pondered her plight
With time her pain, slipped out of my head
As I walked by the lane, one fine night
I saw her! Healthy as ever, she wasn't dead!
With puppies in tow, she ran free
A green band on her neck, reminded of that day
Cruelty was still at bay, I had to agree
With my smile back in place, I called it a day.
Most of us eat them, some of us spit them out, but carrots are more than just food items, they have a soul, and each one has a story to tell,
Take Shiela here for instance, she was a model once, has even posed for the PlayCarrot! Sadly a mid life crisis ended her career, a strange growth appeared on her previously flawless thighs! She works as a waitress now, and has taken the setback in her stride, is a proud mother of three beautiful saplings.But most importantly she's happy! An example of carrot resilience!
Or the brave Severus, who served in the Royal Vegetable army(RVA) during the revolt of the fruits. He lost a leg when he was crushed under a rolling jackfruit, inspite of his disability he served under the administrative core of the RVA. In his twilight years he's finally looking to settle down with a lady! We must salute these brave men who put aside their life to further the vegetarian cause.
Many men have faced the grating machine, but few have lived to tell the tale "O twas sharp! It cut me legs clean off the jimmy, i 'owled in pain, no 'elp came, me dragged me down till the city gates, me passes out and finds me self in the 'ospital, me thanks the great god Carrotus for 'is protection" so says Amputus, yet another tale of living with the horrors that carrots face daily!
There are brave men, and then there are men who have no choice but to be brave! Some of us have to live with what nature deals out to us, such is the case with jerry "shorty" Halwa. He was just born short! Teased by the cucumbers at school, ignored by the lady fingers during his formative years, but now is the richest vegetable on the planet, he has a personal net worth of 56% vitamin C, 23% of iron content and 21% of that miracle compound Ethanol!
So you see friends, carrots are people too, they've got their quirks, they have their abnormalities, next time you take a bite, remember that you might be swallowing a story!
(P.S i still have these carrots in my fridge.....i don't have the heart to cut em up and eat em! :( )
As i sat there sipping hot coffee
A pleasant sight met mine eyes
Two little kids sat at a distance
Conspiring like secretive spies
They planned with hushed whispers,But
wicked grins betrayed their intention
They were plotting to make an escape
From their long and tiring detention
Parents loomed over our brave young heroes
Making difficult their quest for freedom
There were guarded fiercely, like jail inmates
This was a kidnap that demanded no ransom
The sweet smell of coffee permeated the room
The parents as usual were drawn to this scent
As the guards abandoned their post for a welcome drink
The lock on their cage loosened for a moment
With a look of triumph on their faces
They made a run for it, without a moment to spare
Like birds freed from long captivity
They sped away gleefully, on their respective wheelchairs!
This was his worst nightmare, anyone's worst nightmare. He had a gun in his hand, held 5 mm away from the skull of the worst criminal in town, but it was of no use, the ball was not in his court. He would lose.
After 3 months of tracking, surveillance and some good intelligence work, the crack team led by Superintendent of police Raghav Reddy had managed to trap the gangsters responsible for the Bangalore bomb blasts that had torn apart the roots of the once peaceful garden city.
Nestled away in a warehouse on the outskirts of the city, the felons were calmly weathering the storm, bidding their time to escape for safer havens, but a tip off for the police from one among them was going to cut short the peaceful interlude.
The squealing from one of the mob rats was just the opportunity Raghav was looking for, his moment of glory was upon him, he would personally lead the small team of commandos, although in his 40s the man was as fit as a new recruit. After many weeks of mounting tension, potshots at the police for its inefficiency, and sleepless nights, this good fortune had come like a blast of fresh air. He was gonna nail those killers!
The past few weeks had been a nightmare for the police chief, a divorce notice from his estranged wife, a possible custody battle for his 2 yr old, that he was bound to lose, a stock market crash that had wiped out half his hard-earned wealth, if this wasnt enough his career was at stake because of the intelligence failure that lead to the gruesome bomb attack.
As the commandos waited for the signal to go in, Raghav allowed himself to smile, this was gonna be easy, he held the cards, or so he thought. With one last deep breath Raghav signaled for the attack to begin, there would be two points of attack, a head on flurry of bullets from the front and a more strategic attack at the mob bosses who were possibly hiding at the back of the large warehouse.
The mobsters were more than prepared for the frontal attack, the flurry of bullets that Raghav had envisioned was entirely present, only in the opposite direction. As his men got butchered at the entrance, Raghav made his way to the elusive mafia leader who was watching the shoot-fest with much pleasure, holding his gun to the head of the criminal, Raghav whispered "game over".
Raghav had caught the mafioso by surprise, but the look of surprise was soon replaced by a look of victory, the game wasn't over after all. Looking right into Raghav's eye the underworld don motioned towards one of his minions, who disappeared momentarily only to re-appear with a woman and a child, Raghav's wife and child!
As the criminal lord taunted him to shoot, the cries of his wife and child filled his ears, although he didnt care much for his wife, he loved his little angel, the precious child who was the anchor in his storms of late, he would rather die than let anything happen to her. He would rather die!
He didnt have too many choices, shooting the mafia lord would be a just end, justice would be served, the bomb victims would be avenged. But his wife and child would surely die. Surrendering would mean sure death. Death. Or worse, he would be used to broker a safe exit for the felons.
The entire weight of the world was upon Raghav, and he just wanted to escape, float through space, lay his mind to rest, relax. The idea of escaping captured his mind, and there was just one way to escape, one way to disappear! The sweet escape.
Raghav Reddy, Superintendent of police, brought the gun to his temple and shot himself.
2 hours later at the chief minister's office
"I don't know if he planned it but, what he did caught the goons unawares, they were in total disarray, they abandoned the hostages and tried to make a run for it, they fell right into the hands of the squadron waiting outside. We were lucky i must say"
"Well, that's that, to the world, Raghav reddy was killed in the police attack, he will be a decorated police hero, brief the press accordingly, case dismissed"
Unable to resist life's simple pleasures we motioned towards the cute ball of fur! But there was something really strange about this puppy, its face was contorted in agony, it bore an expression of great worry, the way my face seems to look an hour before an exam! The puppy seemed depressed, like it had lost something of great value, its brows knitted together, the eyes dark and hollow, lips quivering, forming a collage of confusion and tension!
Adding salt to the puppy's deep mental wounds we proceeded to pat and cuddle the adorable creature, which only served to incense the sense of insecurity within the puppy! Our dexterous attempts to trap the puppy and forcibly console him added to the misery of the li'll fella. Finally due to sympathy for a fellow created being and the possibility of catching rabies we let the pup run free. Without a single expression of triumph on its face the pup ran to the safety of an overgrown shrub. Following our movements till we were out of sight with a hawk like gaze!
This was perhaps the first time i saw an animal display such raw and unabashed emotion! The pup most probably lost track of its mother, considering the fact that dogs can sniff a scent miles away, the pup will most likely have its smile restored. But it brought a mixed bag of feelings for me.
It led me to wonder about how we kill animals for food, destroy their habitats for various purposes, separate many a mother and child by poaching and huting, i pondered about the variety of emotions that the animals could be feeling, without vocal cords to protest, to complain or to seek justice except perhaps to howl at night, at the solitary glowing yellow mass in the sky, screaming at the moon for being such a silent and indifferent witness.
The pup also reminded me about the momentary worries that consume our very existence, that serve to bring a perpetual frown to most of our faces, the pup was deathly frightened about losing its mother, who probably went lurking for food in the neighboring garbage bin! Similarly we worry, fret and even trouble others with our problems which we will not even remember in a few years time. And its amazing how we run away from the greater being ,just like the pup, when he tries to console and comfort us!
The simple lessons that can be learned by observing the actors in the great stage act called nature!
That happened to me recently!
Well atleast with a few minor details skewed, but finer details dont really make a difference to the big picture! does it?
So i board the kanyakumari express heading to Kerala(where else?) . There really was no old lady to rush past but i did stuff our ample luggage under our seats . And then i look up to see a middle aged woman and her adolescent son beaming upon me, my fantasy was not quite chugging along as i expected, unless the middle aged woman did a "desperate housewife" on me, but thankfully, my less than average looks and messy hair ruled out any such adventurism.
As i sulked on the fast decreasing possibility of my fantasy coming true i decided to check on my mother in the adjoining bogey, she was as usual locked in a conversation with her neighboring passenger, its amazing how women bond with other strange women in a strange train travelling through strange lands, but in this case my mothers socialising with strangers skill worked to my advantage.
As the the women rambled on about how 'sita' from the latest tear jerking serial had wrongly abused her daughter in law because she had added too much salt in the fish curry! i wondered if excitement would ever invade my state of boredom! And lo! there by my side was this really cute girl carrying her little brother, and amazingly she settled right beside me, she was the lady's daughter, my mother extended the 'blah blahs' to include the daughter, soon i joined in the conversation.
Her name was Rebecca, and like her mother i took the liberty of calling her becky, she had glasses on, but unlike my case it only served to enhance her looks, conversation soon landed on favorite t'v shows, and what do you know! She was a disney channel freak like me! She loved Hannah Montana,hadn't missed an episode! and all the other shows i watched on a daily basis! Playful as i am i suggested a game of name place animal thing! she agreed with great glee and excitement, after a while of playing that we moved on to word-building and even stone-paper-scissors!
So my age old fantasy was finally being fulfilled, i had met the one!! but curse those minor details, they ruined my perfect train journey
let me cut to the chase, Becky was 9 years old
The very minor detail kept me from cultivating further thoughts and adding to the fantasy! But truth be told i never had so much fun in a long long time! Sharing the simple joys and games of a child put me in the zone, it made me feel like i belong somewhere, I started acting my age, my mental age atleast!
Watching one too many cartoons you might say! Your dead right! I never really got over watching cartoons and playing board games, or eating chocolates behind your mother's back or even wetting the bed(just kidding i stopped that when i was 17).
As we neared our destination, i dutifully took down becky's phone number and the name of her primary school, in case i learned some new strategies in stone-paper-scissors and wanted to try em out!
But hey! li'll girls grow up to be big girls dont they, scouting early never hurt anyone! Just hope she still is crazy about Hannah Montana in 10 years time!
Nevertheless, evidence suggests that the malayalees for once may be telling the truth, the phonetics assosiation of Kerela provided the clinching evidence to secure the argument in favor of the malayalees, for they have discovered that the underwear is so ingrained into the malayalee society that new and amazing words have been formed just to utter the need for this wonderous contraption.
The chaddi, shaddi(my grandma's version), sheddi(slight variations are prevalent due to geographical differences), The shatti , The Jetti and many more interesting variations.
Like all great travellers, the malayalee too is singlemindedly determined to spread his culture and style wherever he goes. There are the jettiites, the shaddiites, shettiites and many more tribes under the 'hole'y umbrella of the underwear. My cousin Aashish Alexander is a Jettiite, and even when he was sent(deported) to Nepal to complete his education, he took the gospel of the jetti with him,and if you were to believe him, he had many of the hostelites convert to the Jetti clan.
One night Aashish was sleeping as usual with his jetti intact, and thats when he recieved a rough poke to his shoulder, He wakes up with a start and he finds his roomate Gund towering above him wearing nothing but a towel. This was pretty strange considering that Gund always slept with nothing but his underwear on.
Aashish rubs his eye, glances at the clock, which read 1 a.m and says
"What is it?"
To which gund replies
"Eda...where is my jetti? I remember going to sleep in my jetti, but i woke up without it! Help me look for it"
My cousin had done a lot of strange things in his life, but he was not going to look for someone else's underwear at 1 a.m.
"eh? you probably slept without it, were you drunk before you crashed? lets look for it in the morning....Go to sleep"
But no amount of cajoling by Aashish could stop Gund's singleminded determination to find his missing Jetti . Readers are cautioned not to consider this as abnormal behavior, the jettiites are known to get overtly atttached to their jettis, a jetti is almost like a part of one's body, removed grudgingly only to answer the freqeunt calls of nature.
So the two hapless undylovers got down to searching for the lost sheep, the suitcases only revealed Gund's stash of dry cleaned and ironed Jettis waiting to adorn their owner, the loft provided no solace for the search party. Finally after three hours of frantic searching, our brave heros decided to call it a night, daylight would reveal more they opined. A tearful Gund retired to his side of the bed.
As the first rays of sunlight shone across Aashish's face, he wondered if the deeds of the previous night was just a dream, his bedside was unoccupied, was Gund too afflicted by his sorrow? where had he gone? The sound of water running in the shower brought relief to Aashish. A long day with a mission awaited him. He would have to be brave, relentless in his pursuit, committed to the purpose.
The sharp sound of the phone ringing woke Aashish from his reverie. Gund's phone was ringing, news of the lost jetti? The chirpy voice of Gund's mom greeted Aashish, he informed her that Gund was taking a bath, on being asked about the state of affairs, He shamelessly related the case of the missing Jetti.
Gund's mom was hardly surprised by what happened . She told him about how Gund was a notorious sleepwalker who had done much damage in his youth, and would wake up without an inkling of what had happened the previous night.
Aashish cut the call short and rushed outside to look for the jetti, the search of the immediate surrounding yielded no results, As he ventured forward, he saw it................
Perched upon the radio antenna of Gund's Ford Ikon was the pink Jetti, like a flag fluttering upon a conquered peak, Aashish supressed the urge to salute this symbol of jettiism, grabbed the jetti and returned it as soon as possible to its rightful owner
Gund had travelled a good 100 mts from his room, had divested himself of his garment and had walked back to bed. The medical profession has a lot of work to be done in cracking the mystery of sleepwalking. With the case of the missing jetti solved, all was at peace. To this day Aashish wonders about the event, was it an espionage operation by the underwear-hattao movement? Or was this a genuine case of sleepwalking? Why would Gund reomove his beloved Jetti even if he was sleeping. Some mysteries may never be solved.
But for all practical purposes, the Case of the missing Jetti has been closed.
Recently, after a long dreary day in college, i pile a chunk of food on to my plate, and flopped on the couch with the holy grail of couchdom (the remote) in hand. After a good 5 mins of channel surfing i settled for ESPN. The championship deciding football match in the EPL seemed inviting,
Rooney passes to ronaldo, ronaldo crosses to tevez, a brilliant cross from tevez back to ronaldo,
the crowd's on the edge of their seats, ronaldo has an opening, the goalkeeper is nowhere in the frame, he shoots......
"Whats with your sudden interest in football, huh?"
Didnt the 16th commandment read "thou shalt not interrupt thy son/father/husband when he's wathching sports, if thou doest, thou shalt face his wrath , which is unequaled even by me , saith the lord" . Clearly, my mother hadn't gone beyond the ten other vital commands. But the underlying sarcasm from behind, stabbed me like a piercing arrow, the venom poured into that very part of my heart where pele, maradona and zidane resided. I wasnt gonna let this go!
with my eyes still following ronaldo's celebrations, i started off on a verbal assault!
"WHAAAT?"
"What am i supposed to do while eating, watch the dead meat?"
"Am i supposed to have my nose in a textbook even while eating?"
"you have a problem with everything!"
"If i were watching a news channel, you'd have a problem with that, Ftv would be even more of a problem, your constant 'grow up' remarks forced me to give up wathcing cartoon network! can't you just let me live??"
"what you need is a dog, not a son, atleast the dog would have PETA to defend him"
"So when are you going to censor my thoughts, or are you doing that already"
I paused a moment to give my mom some time to squeeze in her half of the argument, her unusual silence spurred me on, maybe i had a case here, i had her on the ropes, time to give in the final punch, silence her for a couple of weeks atleast.
"Was i adopted, is that why you treat me so bad"
"Oh i get it! your my step mom aren't you? I knew it"
"Even cinderalla was treated better, atleast she could watch football in peace"
"Where is my fairy god-dude?"
"Once i get a job, i'm moving out, i'll get a new mom"
okay, maybe i went too far with the last comment, i didnt exactly want to skip dinner for a couple of weeks, so i stopped and looked at her, and said
"Okay now, why arent you saying anything? give up? finally! after 20 years"
Thats when mom broke her silence
"I was talking to nidhi(my brother) not you, HA"
Sometimes when you prepare and give a seminar in class, your all excited and pumped up, but no one gives a rip about what you blabbered, and at the end of it you feel like an idiot for having wasted everone's time, i felt like that, only worse.
I finished the food in a jiffy, switched off the t.v, and avoiding eye contact with my mother i retire to the sanctuary of my room. After burying my head under the pillow for a good fifteen minutes, i emerged with a big smile on my face! i had something to blog about!
Stay tuned though, the mom wars saga isn't gonna end anytime soon, the empire will strike back!
Unity in diversity, The triumphant banner of post Independence India! With some 30(?) states and innumerable no. of languages, things can get confusing at times .
Take me for instance, i was born a malayalee hence i speak Malayalam, but because of my father's frequent transfers to all corners of India, i cannot read or write Malayalam! But we settled down in Bangalore some ten years back, so i can read and write Kannada but cannot speak intelligent Kannada if a gun were held to my head! Add to that a semester of Marathi in third grade and Hindi speaking abilities that deteriorated due to my extended stay in South India, So here i am trying to communicate using the greatest of British imports ENGLISH!
Thankfully though I'm not alone in this linguistic paradox. I didn't even have to look too far.My cousin Aashish who is a doctor, was born in Nigeria,studied in Yemen, high school in kerala and finally mbbs in Nepal. Heaven alone knows the languages he's proficient in!
He recently took up a job in Kottayam, Kerela (Mallu heartland) . He can utter mallu theri (swear words) like a seasoned expert and knows the nuances of the language like a sahityakaran(litterateur) , yet he cannot write or read malayalam! A recipe for disaster!
His job involved playing apprentice to the far more experienced MD and basically just watching and learning as well as doing the odd jobs that only a doctor could do. His opinion would be called for during interesting scenarios as well as suggestions when the situation arose.
So, on this particular day a lady walks into the consulting room and produces a letter of some sort . The MD takes a long look at it, reading all the way to the bottom and then re-read it again, his eye-brows knitted together in concentration. He seemed perplexed! He tosses over the letter to Aashish and says
"Do you concur?"
My cousin was taken aback by this 'StarTrek' sounding command by his superior.
So he hurried to take a look at this sacred piece of parchment that had caused
such a harried reaction in his all knowing teacher. To his dismay, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get an inkling of what was written, Because it was written in Malayalam . Panic struck him, thick and fast. He had to save face somehow! His very job could be at stake! So he put forth a very vague sounding.....
"Interesting case sir, the standard procedure would suffice for this patient, but we must proceed
fast"
The MD's face was as impassive as ever, was this some kind of in-hospital test? my cousin wondered. The MD took a deep breath and ventured..
"Aashish, would you care to explain to the lady about her illness"
'I am done for, certainly!' thought Aashish. He took a deep breath, called upon his lucky stars and let his mouth do all the thinking and talking.
"Ma'am you have a common illness, nothing to worry about, take the prescribed tablets as the chemist orders and you will be fine in no time. A lot of rest, a whole lot of nutritious food, and you'll be back in the pick of health in no time!!"
My cousin sat back in an air of triumph and satisfaction. But the MD looked as bewildered as ever, The patient who was even more confused, had a question or two to ask, She was cut short by the MD,
"Madam would you care to step outside for a moment, we need to discuss your case at length"
Aashish's throat went dry, the customary 100 lashes ancient slaves received seemed inviting, confessing the truth seemed the only way out. As he geared up to defend himself, the impatient and angry MD spoke up...
"What in Christ's name was written in that piece of paper? I cannot read a word of Malayalam!!! I was looking to you for a hint or a suggestion of some sort. But you were more incomprehensible than a doctor's handwriting!"
My cousin heaved a huge sigh of relief and explained how he was in the same predicament!! The two had a hearty laugh and finally had to rely on the lowly nurse to provide a solution. It turned out that the MD had himself studied abroad and was part of the linguistic diaspora that could speak certain languages but couldn't read or write it!!
It is such diversity and interesting intricacies that are unique to being an Indian. Nowhere else would such interesting situations arise! Call it a blessing or a curse but we Indians are forever destined to be Lost in Translation!!
Shah Rukh Khan dances, he charms , he dreams , he falls in love , dies , is reborn , kicks villain's ass, THE END. Yet another bollywood blockbuster, Yet again i fell for the marketing blitz and decided to find out for my self what Om Shanti Om was all about .So i went to the local multiplex, sat through the song-dance-song nightmare as SRK magically changed costumes between every scene, while the couple on my right 'choochey cooed' tirelessly(which was way more entertaining than the movie by the way) . The real life drama dwarfed Srk's over-acting
"you didn't call me for the 6th time last night"
"But honey, i was just lookin at your picture on my cieling and dreaming"
"Really?...choo chweet.....so how do i look today?"
"You look like a princess my love"
"Seriously?.....princess of a biiiggg country or a small country?"
"Princess of a continent...a solar system....why a galaxy i say! "
"Awwwww.....you know you look so cute..WHEN YOU LIE!!...LOSER!!...galaxy indeed!! Use your flattery on Tina, not on me!!!" (she folds her hands and looks my way....i manage to put forth a weak smile!)
"But honey...Tina is just a friend....nothing more....."
"Maybe you should make her something more"
"but...but....."
"Don't talk to me"
what followed was 5 mins of silence...which i utilised to empty my bucket of popcorn....
"If you don't talk to me"....sniff....sniff...."I might as well die"....sniff....."your my light, my sunshine, my moonlight, my street light, my all"
"My baby...don't cry!...i was just being silly....you know i love you....."
sniff..."me too"....
what followed is best not described, considering the younger audience of this blog!!.....I had great fun though....kissing scenes are always cleverly avoided in hindi movies(THe damned tree).... Lets just say i got my money's worth!!
SRK manages to overcome the more muscular and younger villain, and gets to live happily ever after with the heroine who's half his age!!....GREAT! The rigamarole ended! After the boredom extravaganza, all i wanted to do was head home, so i dial the driver and gave him instructions on where to pick us up .
As usual i used a pot pourri of south indian languages to communicate with the driver (in the end it turns out that he speaks my native tongue malayalam) . So here i am, lost in the dilema over the choicest words to be used to describe my location, I mindlessly walk out through the exit, and into the dark tunnel that led to the outside. And thats when.......
I recieve a soft squeeze to my rear!!
Not since when i came out of my mother's insides and the doctor slapped me gently on my buttocks have i gotten any sorta attention to the "back door". I move the cell away from my ear and look back aghast!!
And when i looked back i saw the fairer half of the couple staring at me in a state of shock and confusion, our eyes met in a moment of understanding, i was rooted to the spot, while she covered her face and retired to the arms of her beau!
The boyfriend probably thought i was troubling his lady and gave me a snooty look. Before the situation worsened i slipped away into the crowd!! PHEW!!
Looking back...i wonder if the guy was my identical butt twin, my long lost bum buddy, cause the girl mistakened her lover's rear for mine, there must have been some similarity! Or did she do that on purpose? Were my butt cheeks too difficult to resist? ALAS... i may never know! But the incident has frightened me thoroughly! I found my self walking sideways and keeping my back to the wall every time i walked through a crowd. I realised that my ASSets are to protected from any sort of intended or unintended harm!!
Damn that SRK!