Mid conversation

"Why can't you be more like Jesus huh?"

"What??"

"You want me to get myself crucified? Aint happening!"

"Not that, why cant you act more like him?"

"Oh, you mean....turn water into wine? But i don't have a liquor license! Shucks!"

"Dont use the Lord's name in vain, that's written somewhere"

"Yeah? i thought it was 'Dont use the lord's name in Spain' all this while"

"Your hopeless! show some compassion like jesus did"

"Fashion? but the 30 A.D clothes look like nighties"

"No Idiot! Compassion, love, caring understanding, empathy"

"But i need a bunch of disciples, Pete where you?"

"You don't need disciples to change yourself"

"what i need is a virgin birth! But i'll make do with a virgin mobile instead, think hatke"

"Its a lost cause! Behave like jesus is what i meant!"

"Your right, think i'll go and raise the dead, care to volunteer your brain for my experiment?"

"Now Jesus would never say that!"

"Okay, 'Behold give me thine brain so i can fry and make fritters and then raise it to life"

"Sigh!"

"Tee hee! Oh i get it, i need to talk like Jesus"

"Finally! Things do go past your thick skull!"

"Yeah...Lets see....im gonna talk like Jesus from now"

"Its about time!!"

"Begone Satan!"

"What?"

"Be ye removed from my friend oh fallen one"

"Why do i even try?"

"Now whats the problem? Nothing i do ever suffices!"

"If you do it all wrong it won't"

"Maybe i should fast and pray for 40 days and 40 nights"

"Why dont you make that 90 days and 90 nights? Free trip to heaven if you do!"

"Really? fasting and praying? Is that fast praying?

"No numbskull, it means you don't eat food and concentrate on praying"

"Its a nice bargain, if at the end of it i can multiply fish and bread! I'll be a food billionaire"

"I wonder why God doesnt strike you dead"

"Because Jesus is loving and compassionate! Listen to what you preach sometimes"

"I think i just lost my capacity to think after talking to you"

"Dont worry i'll try and heal you"

"No thanks"

"Unbelief"

"Maybe im jewish! I'm starting to hate you!"

"whoa whoa....dont you go killing me, i'm still not so sure about ressurrection, havent tried that yet"

"A lot you havent tried, all im asking is for some non-violence from you"

"Now you want me to be like Gandhi? Boy you have issues"

"Argh!! Bye idiot"

"okay! Jeez! Go in peace! "


P.S Jesus if you reading this and feeling offended or something, then you could abuse me in the comments section, i'm just so desperate for comments you know, if its not too much trouble could you get the 12 disciples and your 10 million angels to comment too? Thanks